<My life in Stupidity>

Every parent wants their children born to be clever and be successful in future. However, I wasn't. Thinking back to my elementary education, I always never do well in my exams except for Science. My mother was always on very 'high' mood and held cane-stick and punish me for all these things. She sorted for my elder cousin to teach me. It didn't last longer and gave up on me. She said something so hurtful to my mother that I am CMI boy. True, I was quite stupid back then. It fueled me to become recognizable in everything I do. I just want to prove that I am not stupid. That was when my psychological state went to its extreme worst-case scenario. My anger management went hay-wired. Everytime I failed to accomplish something like scoring well in Maths, I went home sobbing non-stop. I never let my parents know my condition. I kept them knowing my weakest moment of my life. Something happened on me, I never always wanted to let others know and kept it deep into my heart and mind. It is true till very now. Why just I wasn't given a chance to prove that I am worthy in something I always wanted to do or to be? Am I really that CMI? I admit that I really cannot do but I just want to prove and work hard to get my best. The world has given up on me. The fate has become rebellious and I submitted my whole life to it. Just like the training in my career, I wanted something and always fight for it no matter what, but they gave up on me. Why it ended so fast? It makes me feel so useless in my team. Every training I do, I always make my team failed in the mission. That is why I am stupid to take the every chance to practice well! I just hate to see the CMI expression shown to me!! Maybe, I was. Feel like committing suicide now. I am useless in this world. My life is just contained stupidity gene only.